It was a fall noon, the sun was behaving like a shy bride who had the veil of the clouds around to show bare minimum of its bright persona. The chinnars were shredding leaves and giving the remaining ones a beautiful bronze colour; which looked like they had been getting warm grizzly huggs from mother earth and getting sun kissed whenever sun decided to come out it’s covers. The city had it’s average low temperature, which was usual for the valley during the season.
On the other hand, she lay at home; being completely tucked in a blanket in front of the TV, changing channels because she was too bored to see anything. She rested her head on one of her knucles, lost in her usual own small world.
After a few minutes of being in the same situation, something caught her eye and she pulled her finger of the remote to look at it carefully. It was a famous actor’s song; the actor that reminded her of him. The song was about the real meaning of love; sung by the best, directed by the best, picturised on the best of it’s time.
She couldn’t help but smile at the goofy “Romeo-Juliety” scene between the two protagonists on the TV as she always found the typical scenes really cliché. The usual, boy climbing girl’s balcony to get her glimpse and ending up getting a yes as an answer. Before she knew, she was back into her world and the song lyrics were echoing in her ears; she was back into her memories of him looking at his eyes, his bright smile, happy-go-lucky and optimistic aura. The person he really was, not the one he wanted her to believe or the one her heart made her believe he would be.
But everything was not as good as she kept telling herself it was and she knew it very well. It was only recently that he announced what his priorities were in life and she wasn’t one of them, it was someone else. It wasn’t her fault but she thought it was, then she kept telling herself that it wasn’t what she thought it was but others thought otherwise.
As much as she tried to hold it in, the pain came out like an uproar from silenced soul; she felt the muscles of her chin tremble like a small child who had lost her happiness. Maybe it was her heart that cried that noon or maybe it was her brain who finally understood reality or her soul which realised that she had been keeping herself too far from the realities of the world.
Ye kaali raat jakad lun
Ye thanda chand pakad lun
Din-raat ke bairi bhed ka
Rukh mod ke main rakh dun
Tujh sang bair lagaya aisa
Raha na main phir apne jaisa
She looked at TV screen and saw the protagonists shooting themselves to death as they couldn’t bear the pain of being torn apart by misunderstandings of the cruel inhuman world.
By now, her nose was swollen and red. She then pulled herself together, sat straight and wiped her tears off with her hands; giving her eyes a gentle rub. She thought she hated this person, he had no right to keep her hanging, give her uncertainty in life and hopes that were not going to be true.
But these thoughts of hers, were filled with anger and vengeance and so they couldn’t keep her real heart and soul locked in for too long. She thought to herself that maybe he loved his priority as much as she loved him? Maybe his happiness was with her? Maybe he didn’t do it on purpose? He was an individual who had the right to be with any person, to be in love with any person. Ultimately she knew that she didn’t want him but his happiness.
She washed her face and went out in the garden to look at the beautiful afternoon scenery that she had been neglecting since a few days, wishing the best for him on the inside. Afterall, love for her was being able to let go; which was also the reality of life.